Dear Kung Fu Sundays,

You were second only to Godzilla, and I LOVE my Godzilla. Television shows were in their prime back when I was growing up. Like every person who lived through an era and decided that it was the best, my opinion of this is also a fact. I jest of course but, you really were the Reuben sandwich of television: Stacks of juicy meat (fighting, Ka-ra-tey style) nestled between billowy slices of bread (courage and fighting for what was just).

Believe it or not, your free lessons actually did help me out. In one instance, I was young and in the bathroom, as most middle schoolers escaping from geography class were. While washing my hands, two louts entered the room and immediately set their sights on me. I turned to face them, the sound of a fleshy dirt bike engine emanating from within my chest.

“Hey Jason, hit him and see if he cries.” said the smaller of the two.

Luckily, I finished my business and was washing my hands before they came. I imagine the fear would have heightened if I also had to worry about messing myself. With that slight relief realized, I looked at the larger, blonde haired, ruffian. He rubbed his fist a few times. then drew his arm back and let loose.

Bruce Lee is a legend and, overshadowed only by Godzilla, is my idol. What a grand specimen he was. The man was nigh invincible yet was as humble as could be. You featured his movies many times and that man’s “kick assery” brought my father and I together to watch as you laid waste to countless bad guys. Those times were rare and you knew it. What I wasn’t aware of was that watchiing him, and all the rest, as much as I did was prepping me for moments like the aforementioned. Like phantom muscle memory, I learned to attack or defend myself without even realizing it.

Jason’s fist approached like the human meteor that it was. In an instant, my right hand snapped in place, caught his punch and, swiftly, ended the assault. Jason and cohort were stunned; their faces proof of that.

“He knows karate. Let’s get out of here.” shrieked the lesser lout, hurriedly leaving the unpleasant smelling bathroom. Jason immediately followed.

I walked home that day, tall and proud. Bruce Leo had won his first battle, scared away two brutes, flexed his martial arts skill, and had yet to pay a single dime for traditional training. Years later, Mortal Kombat II would assume tutelage of my training -I really nailed that Reptile double back kick.

I miss you, old friend. Wherever you are, whoever you are training; I hope they appreciate you as much as I do.

Domo arigato gozaimasu.

–Adriel